NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was yet another awkward day for Team Biden, which was humiliated when a gaggle of spokesmen for its new Ministry of Truth was asked by Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) to define “the truth”.
The idiocy started from the first response that slipped out. Immediately after being asked the question, one of the nameless, gray-suit-clad bureaucrats screeched “I’m not in the ministry of Truth, how am I supposed to define truth?”
She was then reminded by Senator Cruz that she was, in fact, working for the Ministry of Truth, so she should know what the truth is. That silenced her, so she looked down at her phone while furrowing her brow.
Meanwhile, the other members of the Ministry of Truth team bickered with each other over how to define truth, with Cruz tapping his watch and saying “we’re waiting,” to which a spokeswoman for the Ministry of Truth snapped back “As a black, trans, woman of color, I’d like to remind you that timeliness is a white concept,” referring to a paper published by the Smithsonian.
The group then went back to arguing, with Cruz and Blackburn both getting obviously frustrated. Finally, when Cruz looked ready to explode, someone in the gallery finally stood up and said “Truth is whatever Big Brother says it is!”
The women in the group then started yelling “Or Big Sister,” obviously angrier about the gendering of “Big…thing” than at the idea that they were characters in 1984. They then settled on telling Cruz that whatever the “Big, Gender Non-Binary Person Potentially of Color from a Non-Traditional Family Structure and Potentially with Special Needs” said is the truth is the truth.
He then sighed and asked them to repeat that so that he could write it down, but they were unable to repeat it exactly the same way and told him to just get it from the CSPAN transcript after the hearing.
Moving on, Marsha Blackburn asked how they knew that was the truth, to which they responded by saying that they were very credentialed and, other than the woman who yelled at the beginning that she wasn’t qualified to determine the truth, were all at least qualified to listen to the Big [Insert Leftist Gibberish]’s description of the truth, as they learned to do while in college.
Cruz then told them they could leave, which they did while all logging onto their phones and trying to get the two senators kicked off Twitter.
Elon Musk, recently having taken over Twitter, instead changed the algorithm to change the Ministry of Truth’s tweets to all say various vulgarities, telling them that they could have a free, one way trip to Mars if they so desired, but that no one would be kicked off Twitter for questioning the government.
Biden’s “People’s Committee,” headed by an aging Bernie Sanders and imbecilic AOC, then labeled him an enemy of the people, to which he responded by saying that he can’t decipher that label because he’s “not an English teacher.”
This story syndicated with permission from The Liberty Leader Political Satire